So much is in flux right now and I don’t know where a lot of things are going both personally and professionally. If you are familiar with StrengthsFinders, one of my top five is strategic, so I’m struggling with all this unknown. It’s really affecting how I feel and my mood. Some days I feel like I’m drifting, and others I’m spinning my wheels. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and deep thinking, but I don’t have clarity…yet. The good news? All this thinking has stretched my strategery a little more and I’ve had some self reflection time. I’m normally quick to make decisions, but I haven’t. Having time to think things through and weigh different options has been eye opening for me. I know that in the past, I’ve made a snap decision and didn’t think about an aspect that ended up being pretty significant.
Because I need to rationalize how I’m not the one running this show, I’ve decided to shift my perspective from the negative of ‘what’s going to happen next’ to a more positive approach of ‘I have time to think and consider’. So, I’m embracing being uncomfortable. It’s tough. I don’t like it. But, I am writing more and talking more and thinking more about all the things. I’m figuring out that I need a solid master plan (I already knew this, but I wasn’t thinking big enough) and that doesn’t happen overnight. I need a vision and then I can set goals and those are not fast decisions. I’ve come close to a few decisions and then a wrench or a banana peel or a door appears and so I stop. I am never still. Yet, that is the message that I keep getting. So I am listening. The most enlightening revelation so far is that although it’s torture, my lack of movement has made me really SEE the surrounding landscape and that’s been a very good thing.